ERICA DUNOMES

It started with a divine appointment. There I was, about to dig into the Word with God when the phone rang. I answer only to hear my husband’s voice on the other end.

Normally, I get uneasy, much rather annoyed when my time with God gets interrupted. Every morning without fail, my mind prepares for nothing else but that special time with Him. Hey! That time is vital. Yet at this particular time, I felt the need to simply listen. My husband’s topic of conversation? Honor.

My husband is the kind of person, that when God is dealing with him about something, he presses in until he fully understands what God is saying. I love that about him. So, I listened to him.

I listened to him explain in detail what God had revealed. As he was talking I, too, began to see and understand some things about honor.
Then I thought about my mother; my teenage years growing up in her house.

I had some faults to confess.

Have you ever heard of the saying that if you are ticklish on the back of your neck, you are “boy crazy” (which now that I think on it, makes no sense)? Well, I was that ticklish on the back of the neck, boy crazy girl. I did things. Things I’m not proud to say I did. In my mother’s house. This conversation with my husband about honor had brought those things back to my remembrance.

Ten years ago, almost, the Lord laid it on my heart to call my mother to apologize to her for the ways in which I did not respect her, doing the things that I did while living under her roof. My mom, at the time, was married to my youngest sister’s dad. But they had been separated for years. It was just my mom, my brother, my sisters and me. She worked during the day and night; two jobs. And the rules she had set, let’s just say, we didn’t really follow. There was much disrespect that went on.

It took me years later, to realize that my lack of respect was really my lack of honor for my mother.

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

~Exodus 20:12 KJV

A lack of honor is a lack of honor period.

It could be said by me that I honored my mother in other ways. I have never called her out of her name. I have never talked back to her. I didn’t even feel comfortable using a curse word in front of her (back when I did such a thing). Yet, after having had the light of God’s word shined in, I can say that my failing to obey her rules really tells a different story.

For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

~James 2:10 KJV

Having hung up from talking with my husband, the call that I had been putting off, I decided to make. I called my mom. Heartfelt talks have never been my strong suit, which is the reason why I prolonged giving my apology that day. It is only as of recent years that I started moving beyond myself to do such a thing. On this particular day, I am so glad I did. My mother was instantly forgiving as I expected that she would be.

Honor Defined:

Honor, in the dictionary is defined as to hold in honor or high respect; revere: to honor one’s parents. According to Strong’s Concordance, the Hebrew word for honor as it is used in referenced scripture (notice how the spelling has changed) is kabad or kabed. The vowel sounds are long in pronunciation. And it means to be heavy; abounding with; lay heavily; bring to honor.

In comparing the two definitions, one could only see that parents are to be held in high regards. They are to be revered and greatly respected. God created man and woman, male and female. Other than the animals, there was no one next to Him in his likeness and image. God had set things in divine order and expected His order to be followed. He gave man and woman the authority to have dominion over the earth. He also later made them to be parents. He commanded that parents be highly honored.

Honor is lost upon the children of today.

We live in a society today where the biblical standard of respect for parents seems to be nonexistent. Children today are not being taught to honor their parents. This is mainly because parents are failing to teach them. It is also due to the fact that a lot of parents have walked away from the biblical foundation of teaching their children to honor them and respect their elders. Their claim is that it’s an old-fashion tradition.

Instead, they are too busy giving them what they want (their way and material things) over what they need (biblical correction and teaching). That’s why they can go to school and get into fights (fist fights) with their teachers. What’s sad is that they think there’s nothing wrong with their behavior. In their eyes, it has been made justified.

For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

~2 Timothy 3:2-4

This is where grace came in.

Is it safe to say that there are some parents today who were not taught about respect and honor themselves growing up? So therefore, they can’t teach their children what they themselves have not had the privilege to learn.

Having the conversation with my mother allowed me to consider some things that I had not considered before. I had not considered her childhood and what it was like growing up for her. I had not considered what she may have and may not have been taught. Because in reality, these things make a major difference in how you parent your own children.

Suddenly, I extended to my mother grace. I took a moment to consider her upbringing. I considered the fact that just as God has graced me in the raising of my children, He has graced my mother too.

But here’s the thing. I call it the flipside. God in His grace sees all and knows all. Therefore, He is merciful. Yet, though He gives grace, He still requires us to learn in the now what we had not in the past. Some things are excusable for children who have grown up into adulthood who don’t know. But once the light of truth shines in on your darkness, those things become no longer excusable.

If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloke for their sin. He that hateth me hateth my Father also. If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.

~John 15:22-24 KJV

God has commands all of us as parents to teach our children (Deuteronomy 11:19). We are to teach them how to honor God first. Then, we are to teach them how to honor us as well. God said it. He is the One who has given and set the divine order. We would do well to obey God.

We see what our world looks like as the second coming of our Savior and Lord draws near. All that has been prophesied is coming to pass. But what if we could just for a moment paint the picture in our minds, what the world would look like should we all truly obey God? How beautiful that would be!

A challenge is proposed.

This challenge is twofold. First, I challenge you to think back on how you treated your parents growing up. If you know that you didn’t truly honor them, then call them and honor them today. Make it right by admitting that you were wrong.

Second, I challenge you to take a survey of your world (your home). View it in light of the Scripture (Exodus 20:12). Ask yourself if your children really honor you? Are you teaching them to honor you? What about respect for their elders? Should any of these questions be met with the answer of “no”, then I challenge you to change that.

This change will not be easy. But through grace it can be done. Let honor come to be where honor is due according to the word of God. If your mother is presently alive, it’s never too late to do the right thing while you still have the chance to do it. Will you?

For a more in-depth article on honoring your parents click here Between Child and Parent – Honoring Father and Mother (Exodus 20:12)